With rings on her fingers and bells on her toes...

I love accessories, I really do.  I have them scattered all over our house.  I have an assortment of hats on shelves, scarves draped here, there and everywhere.  I have earrings beside our bed, brooches on top of cupboards, head bands and hair pins under the sink, cuffs and bangles on shelves, rings in various little pots, bags hanging on door knobs, belts in drawers, and necklaces on mantle pieces.  Don't even get me started on my shoes.  At this point our house has been accessorized with my accessories - much to my husband's dismay.

What I love about accessories is that they can change an outfit completely, with relative ease and without having to make a huge investment.  They can take a look from day to night, or from work to weekend.  A splash of color can elevate a simple look and some well place jewelry can make something casual instantly classy.  Most accessories are also timeless and don't fall victim to becoming obsolete overnight.  They are also perfect for pregnancy. When so many of your other favorite pieces of clothing are forced into hibernation for 9  months or more, the familiarity of well loved and worn accessories can make you feel like yourself when so much is changing.

I am also incredibly sentimental so I love that so many of my accessories are heirlooms handed down from generation to  generation.  I have a beautiful Bakelite brooch shaped like a fox from a beloved aunt, a feather adorned hat from my grandmother-in-law, a gorgeous silk square from my great grandmother whom I never even met, strings of beautiful chunky beads from my grandmother and a wonderful pair of very 70's earrings from my mum.  What is interesting about the earrings that had belonged to my mum was that they were clip on.  When I was a teenager, thrilled with the new holes in my ears, I had the earrings changed for pierced ears.  Who, after all, wore clips!  But now I think that maybe my mum knew something that I didn't - the vice like grip of a baby!

So for about 6-12 months when both of my children were old enough to reach, grab, chew, pull mercilessly and drool over, I was forced to give up even my accessories.  I feared for my earlobes and the future of my necklaces.

Then something miraculous - a baby proof accessory that is fun, functional, stylish and well priced - Chewbeads.  They have been a revelation.  Made from 100% silicone they are safe and designed for babies to chew on.  Now there are of course many things that are designed to find safe refuge in a child's mouth but how many of them are actually designed to look great while you wear them?  Very few.  They are also so well priced starting at $12 of the Cornelia Bracelet, to $30 for the Jane Necklace with a top price of $36.50 for the Hudson Necklace it is hard to go wrong.

  

So if you are pregnant, nursing, entertaining a young child or just love a good accessory I think you'll find that Chewbeads fit the bill nicely.

Nursing Woes

Bella Maternal Adjustable Bra

Without doubt breast feeding your baby is one of those incredible experiences in your life that can forever change you.  

Our bodies are miraculous, they really are.  Not only are they able to give life, they are able to sustain new life with the most absolutely perfect nutrition a baby could need - breast milk.  While sharing this milk with our babies we get to experience a bonding that is absolutely profound.

It never crossed my mind that I would do anything other than breast feed my children.  I had after-all grown up surrounded by lactating mammals on a dairy farm and had a mother who was an adamant and sometimes defiant breast feeder during the 70's when nursing in public wasn't considered appropriate.

I didn't expect that something so incredibly natural wouldn't come naturally to me or my son.  We tried very hard.  At the hospital, rather than the skin to skin contact I longed for with my baby, I was quite literally strapped to an industrial pump to get milk that was then finger fed  to him.  (If you don't know what finger feeding is, I hope you never have to go through it.  If you have gone through finger feeding, we might want to start a support group for survivors of it!)

When we were discharged from the hospital I left armed with a list of lactation consultants. I made an appointment with the first one who answered the phone.  She arrived in a whirlwind of glamor and efficiency when what I really needed though was nurturing and support.  If this had happened in my pre-parent life I would have confidently told the woman she wasn't a good match and found someone else.  But in my new life as an amateur and vulnerable new mother I was quietly submissive.  I tried for another few days to get my son to latch on but in the end I simply couldn't take him arching his back and screaming every time he got near my engorged breasts so I gave up.  I continued to pump, my son continued to grow, and life moved on.

To be perfectly honest though it wasn't something I will ever be able to fully move on from.  Not being able to breast feed my son was, and still is, one of my biggest regrets.  It is something I still haven't 'forgiven' myself for.  I know I did the best I could in a difficult situation, but I wish we could have had a different outcome.

When I was pregnant for the second time I did everything I could to avoid it from happening again.  I read the breast feeding sections in all my old baby books.  The one that resonated the most was from "The New Basics" by Michel Cohen M.D.  (I should add that I often find this book frustratingly blasé especially as an anxious new parent, however it is also often completely spot on).  Dr. Cohen suggests that rather than hiring a lactation consultant you spend time with a close family member or friend who has nursing experience.  

I think there is a lot of value in that advice, but there are a lot of women like me who aren't fortunately enough to have that person, so did some research (thank you once again A Child Grows in Brooklyn) and contacted the wonderful lactation consultant Katherine Lilleskov prior to delivering.  

The first thing she recommended was that I read "The Nursing Mother's Companion"  by Kathleen Huggins. Then, in a wonderfully kind moment, she told not to worry so much about it because every baby is different as is our experience with them.  She was right. After my daughter was born she came out ready to suck.  She latched on immediately and moments after giving birth she lay on my skin and nursed.  

I would never go as far as to say it was easy.  Even with a child who breast fed instinctively, there was cracked nipples, duct infections and production issues to deal with, but I was able to  finally have a mothering experience I have learned never to take for granted.

So pep talk aside, the one thing I will say that is good about bottle feeding your baby, as long as you can tolerate the judgmental looks of some when you pull our a bottle rather than your boobs, is that you can avoid nursing clothes.  In my opinion it is much easier to dress around a pregnant body than it is a nursing body.  However since opened Bump almost 4 years ago there have been enormous improvements in nursing fashion.  I have often loved maternity pieces so much that I've happily worn them while not pregnant, and now for the first time we have nursing pieces that I would happily wear not nursing.

Split Shoulder Dre

We recently added a beautiful collection at Bump by Australian designer Stephanie Schell.  Very few designers have been able to fuse fashion, comfort and nursing access together so seamlessly.  I read once that Donna Karan said the only part of a woman's body that didn't gain weight is her shoulders, so I particularly appreciate this detail in the dress.  Nursing access for all of her pieces is through an invisible zipper under the arm.

Dote Harlow Dress

How to create nursing access in a body flattering shape is definitely a design challenge.  Until recently a lot of styles went for horizontal access.  Personally I think that it isn't always the best approach.  What I love about the nursing line Dote is that they have incorporated vertical nursing access which flows much more coherently with the drape of the fabric. It also allows for items to be made from fabrics that  are softer and more flattering.


I am really excited to see how nursing designs continue to improve. Our tag line for Bump is give up wine, coffee, sushi - not fashion. Now the goal is to find fashion when wine, coffee and sushi have once again been reintroduced.

Five

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I will never forget coming home from St. Vincents Hospital on February 6th, 2006.  I was incredibly sore from an unexpected c-section, exhausted from our 4 story walk-up, my boobs were painfully engorged, I was having no luck breast feeding, and I realized they had just allowed us to bring this tiny 5 lb 8oz child home with us and I had absolutely no idea how to take care of him.

I was more scared and overwhelmed than I had ever been in my life before.  At that moment one of my dearest friends Olivia called.  She cheerfully and enthusiastically said, "Isn't this the best thing in the world ever."  It wasn't a question, it was a statement.  As the mother of an amazing daughter she was talking from experience.  I paused, took a deep breath then sobbed, "No!"

Olivia was of course right.  Motherhood is without a doubt the best and most important thing I will ever do in the world.  It is also the most draining, challenging and exhausting thing I've ever done.  Would I have it any other way?  Absolutely not.

Thank you Auden for the most amazing 5 years of my life - the first 5 years of yours.  I will love you until the end of time.

Bump Brooklyn

Don't get left out in the cold.

Personally I hate the winter.  It almost makes me dislike the joys of fall because I know it means winter is right behind it.  Sometimes I even resent spring because it never gets here quick enough.  Yes I know that summer brings mosquitoes, sunburn, upper lip perspiration, swamp crotch and fuzzy hair, but I will always prefer being warm to cold.  I hate being cold. We're in the depths of January and my 5 day weather forecast isn't giving me much cause for optimism.  I have been forced to give up my imaginary spring wardrobe planning for the immediate necessity of warm and water proof footwear.  As much as I love Brooklyn, I am always almost seduced by living in different hemisphere this time of year.

The origins of this avid seasonal dislike might come from my Scottish childhood.  We lived in a beautiful old farm house without upstairs heating or modern windows.  It was not unusual to see your breath in the morning when you woke up.  Actually there was one radiator.  You would find my sisters, brother and I huddled around it every morning getting dressed.  We would very carefully divide up the radiator into equal sized sections, place our clothes on top to take the chill off and quickly get dressed. I probably do my childhood a huge disservice telling that story.  It makes it sound like I had a frigid and bleak childhood - it was nothing of the sort.  It was an unbelievably rich, happy, almost idyllic one, but it was certainly cold.

Putting on a brave face with my daughter.

I was my own worst enemy though.  Mini skirts and skimpy blouses didn't really cut it.  It took moving to New York in my 20's to teach me how warm weather dressing is done. New York women just know how to do it every season, every year. 

So how do you do it when you are pregnant?  There are some perks to being pregnant in the winter - your body normally runs much warmer with all the extra blood flowing around you body.  The winter of 2006 and 2008 were definitely the warmest I've ever spent that is for sure.

There is sadly a distinct lack of good down coats out there  that will accommodate a bump or a baby, but here are some current options that we love.

Menonove Puff Coat

Harvest Open Cardigan by Line

Ian Cardigan by Line

Even if Kennedy and subsequent male politicians have found hats a challenge to their masculinity, if masculinity isn't something that concerns you, be grateful that a hat is just another wonderful self expression opportunity, and a warm one!  I was told once that you loose up to 50% of your heat from your head.  It is not a statistic I have any way of proving, but I do know hats have improved my winter comfort enormously.  They also almost always make me feel happier because they can be glorious, absolutely glorious.   

  

My friend Lisa Battaglia is an amazing milliner.  Her hats shouldn't be worn if you are feeling particularly shy because you will be inundated with compliments if you wear one of her creations.  Her incredible collection has actually made me almost look forward to feeling a chill in the air. 

"Swinger" by Lisa Battaglia

"Brooklyn" by Lisa Battaglia

Fashion serves as a pick-me-up in my life.  If you are like me it might be time to invest in something that raises your spirits while you wait - patiently - for the temperatures to go up.

 

The Argument for Maternity Clothes

It will come as no surprise that as one of the owners of a maternity boutique I would write a blog post touting the benefits of maternity clothes.  In my defense though if I didn't believe in the value of maternity clothes, I would never have set out to make a living selling them - it would be like a vegan opening up a steak house.  I will endeavor not to make this post a shameless plug for Bump, but the reality is it will probably be about as 'fair and balanced' as Fox News.

I wasn't fortunate enough to have Bump during my first pregnancy, over 5 years ago.  I made a lot of mistakes, many of which definitely influenced my decision to open Bump.  Like a lot of other women who fought buying maternity clothes I found myself 8 1/2 months pregnant and utterly miserable because nothing fit, I had completely lost my identity in how I dressed, and everything made me feel uncomfortable.

So based on my experience as woman with 2 pregnancies under (and over) her belt and 3 years as the co-proprietress of a maternity boutique, here is my argument for maternity clothes.

"Nothing fits any more.  Maybe I should just buy clothes that are a couple of sizes bigger than I normally wear."

Yes you could buy clothes that are a couple of sizes too big or to even start shopping in the men's department (really, please don't) but there are a couple of problems with this solution.  First of all, the waist is probably the only place they will fit.  Secondly you aren't saving money.  If you are going to buy something new, at least buy something that will fit your entire body and flatter your shape.

"Why spend money when it is just for 9 months?"

Most of us have an official or unofficial seasonal budget for new clothes.  New seasons roll around and whether it's through wear and tear, new trends, or the simple pleasure of retail therapy, we add in a new pair of jeans, a summer dress, a winter coat, a great little cardigan or a cute new accessory.  It is rare that any of us will let 6 months pass without buying anything new. So treat your pregnancy like a new season and allocate yourself the same budget you would to any other season.

Secondly the reality is, it's not just 9 months.  It would be nice to go straight back to our former bodies and favorite old pieces of clothing after we give birth but isn't normal or natural.  While our bodies are adjusting enlarged boobs and readjusting to no longer housing our babies we need clothing that is kind to our bodies. 

"I'll just find something cheap/on-sale/consignment that will do, after-all it is only 9 months*."

This was my initial reaction 5 years ago so I went out and bought a pair of black maternity from the pants from The Gap on sale.  I forgot years of standing in fitting rooms trying on pair upon pair of Gap jeans and pants only to finally accept that their pants just don't fit me very well.  But they were $40 so I would make them work.  But they didn't work,  I didn't return them and wore them once.  $40 for 1 day - not a good equation.  Now if I had just bought the pair of amazing jeans I wanted for $180 I would have worn them at least 40 times at much better rate of $4.50 at a day.

Of course if you can find items you love cheap/on-sale/consignment then cha-ching!  But really, don't sell yourself short on something that "will do" when you can find something that you'll love and works for your sense of style and body shape.

*See above.

"I have lots of things in my wardrobe that work already."

This one is actually not something I would disagree with.  With the addition of a bella band and a muffin top stopper for your pants & skirts, a lot of your pre-pregnancy wardrobe will grow with you happily throughout your pregnancy and prevent you from having to re-invent your wardrobe.

It might sound incredibly superficial, but I really do believe in the power of fashion.  It's a way of expressing ourselves.  It shouldn't be all that defines us, but it is one piece of a unique and varied puzzle that we create for ourselves.  When you are pregnant you should absolutely not abandon that, and you certainly don't have to.  Pregnancy and parenthood is such a pivotal time in our lives that it's good to feel grounded in anyway we can.  Clothes are part of that grounding.  So even when you are giving up wine, caffeinated coffee, sushi, unpasteurized cheese, hot dogs (not necessarily a huge sacrifice unless you go to Bark) and 8 hours of sleep, you don't have to give up fashion...or comfort.

www.bumpbrooklyn.com

Resolving not to make any resolutions.

As 2010 draws to an end, I am resolving not to make any resolutions. I have spent too many years setting myself up to fail before the first 24 hours of the new year have even begun.  


I will not pay for a gym membership I will almost certainly never have the time to use.  I will not buy a journal that will remained unopened. I will not cancel my cable subscription. I will continue to spend too much time on Facebook, and I will not step on a set of scales unless a doctor asks me to. (I would however appreciate it if my daughter would resolve to sleep through the night - I'm pretty tired).

What I will be doing is reflecting on the year that has just past. I will marvel at the twinkle in my son's gorgeous brown eyes, his inquisitive spirit and eagerness to learn. I will reflect on my daughter's first steps, her rapidly expanding vocabulary and joyful exuberance.  I will smile at the memory of all the hugs, kisses and hands held. 

I will also be grateful for one more year of Bump.  Often when people find out that I am a small business owner they ask me tentatively, "how is it going?"  It is not news to anyone that the past 2 years have been hard on everyone.  It has effected us all.  We've all eaten more meals at home, we've returned to the art of family camping vacations, taken the subway more and cabs less, reconsidered the necessity of certain skin or hair care products, brought lunch to work in a brown bag rather than ordering in, and I'm certain that we have all felt a little more grateful for what we have.  

We have all also got a little more creative with our wardrobe.  We have combed sales racks and sample sales, repaired and resoled, rediscovered items long forgotten in storage, accessorized with passion, and we have all considered each purchase much more carefully before we make it.  

We never expected 2010 to be a huge year for Bump.  We expected our customers to delve through the wardrobes of recently pregnant friends and family.  We also expected our customers to stretch their previous wardrobes as far as possible. So we have been even more grateful than ever for every customer who has walked through our doors.  We know there are maternity alternatives, some less expensive and more convenient, so that people have chosen to come to Bump makes us feel very fortunate. 


Our business is not only a small one, but it is a family business and a business that is very personal to us. We bump (forgive the pun) into our customers on the subway, on the street, in the play ground, in restaurants and at our children's schools.  We feel unbelievably privileged to be part of an incredible, life changing journey.  We have got to know our customers children, partners, mothers, fathers, grandparents and friends.  We have given tissues for tears, pads for leaking boobs, a bathroom for bladders under pressure, curtains for a game of peek-a-boo, a comfortable chair for nursing, and space for diaper changes.


We love what we do and are so happy that we can continue doing it.  So wether you make resolutions or not, we wish everyone all the love, kisses and hugs 2011 can muster up, and thank you for your support, friendship and exceptional company.


Bump  

The Sex Shop Next Door

Before last weekends incredibly successful Bergen Street Lot Party (from which I am still exhausted), the most action we normally see on Bergen Street comes courtesy of our illustrious neighbors at Babeland.  I came to work recently and was excited to see what appeared to be a line of women waiting to get into Bump.  On closer inspection I realized that they were waiting to get into Babeland who was having their annual vibrator sale.  My hopes were dashed.

When Babeland first opened just over 2 years ago there was a media frenzy.  We had to alternate who was going to be interviewed when yet another TV crew came to Bump to ask us what we thought.  I for one was surprised that it was such big news that women wanted to have orgasms.  

I first met Claire, one of the owners of Babeland, at a mummy & baby yoga class in 2006.  Our sons are about the same age.  We exchanged homemade pureed baby food and tales of the trials of motherhood.  I liked and admired her instantly, especially when I discovered what she did and what an incredible female pioneer she was.  She was one of the women who inspired me to pursue my Bump dream.  

I would bump into Claire on and off for the next 2 years when our sons were having haircuts at Lulu's, at the Botanic Gardens, and then one day fortuitously on the sidewalk when she mentioned that she was looking for a location for a Brooklyn store.  I immediately suggested she talked to our landlord who had been incredibly supportive of our business when we first opened.

The rest I suppose is history.  I feel enormously fortunate to have Babeland as my  neighbor.  There are often times when we accept delivery for a package for Babeland and we're more than a little tempted to keep it and deny all knowledge of receiving it.  I often pop in there, for professional reasons only, and am happy to report that I am cured completely of my blushing thanks to the wonderful women who work there.

We are really happy to be hosting a wonderful workshop with Babeland this Saturday, September 18th from 10-11am. The workshop is about Sex During Pregnancy and it's completely free.  Their sex educators will lead a discussion about tips and techniques for how to enjoy your sexuality during pregnancy. They'll cover ways to communicate with your partner about your changing desires, positions that accommodate your changing body, and toys that can help create even more intimacy and pleasure.  Everyone who attends will receive a 10% at Babeland & Bump following the workshop.  Need further incentive? Well we'll be serving Blue Sky Bakery mini muffins!

If you can't make the workshop I highly recommend checking out their great site Moms in Babeland.

Bump Brooklyn

The Case of the Missing Waist

The first thing to go when you're pregnant is your waist.  Unlike your tonsils or appendix, when you're waist goes you actually miss it.  It is the natural dividing point of your body.  It's where separates separate.  

During the first trimester you may feel, well...lumpy and downright undefined.  I know I longed for the days when I would actually look pregnant so I wouldn't have to endure those questioning looks wondering if I'd just been putting on weight in unusual places.

Here are some tips to stay ahead of the curve at every stage.

FIND SHAPE ELSEWHERE 

Just because your waist has developed a mind of its own, it doesn't mean that you can't find shape elsewhere and create a waist alternative.

  

Empire waisted blouses and dresses are a great option.  Cut just under the bust it elongates the body and draws attention away from your actual waist. 

If you find that your blousy loose fitting clothes are leaving you feeling like a tent rather than enveloping your body, you can create an empire waist with a scarf or belt.  Go for muted or blocks of color if you are wearing prints, or enliven a simple dress with a splash of color.

T Bags V-neck Blouse

Bec & Em Brush Print Dress

Japanese Weekend Retro Print Dress

Woo Mable Blouse

If you're wary of your bust and drawing attention to it try styles that tie under your bump or on your hip like this beautiful style from Woo.
 

GO WITH THE CURVES

Olian Dania Dress

Once you feel sufficiently comfortable with your new curvy form it is well worth investing in at least one piece that highlights your pregnancy. This beautiful dress from Olian is a great example of using a print to accentuate your bump.  They have incorporated a gorgeous print to a simple black dress that wraps itself around your body highlighting your pregnant curves.  

DISTRACT

Show off your pregnancy glow with a dusting of bronzer and a vibrant lip color and always leave room for accessories!  Raid your jewelry boxes, explore a local flea market and throw on chunky bangles, layer chains, add bold beads, tie a fabulous scarf, pull your hair back and put on your favorite earrings.  They never go out of style, shouldn't add any costs to your wardrobe, and will delight your inquisitive child after you've given birth - the earrings especially!

Bump Brooklyn

What to bring when giving birth.

 St. Vincents (big sigh)

With the benefit of hindsight, there are 2 things I wished I had brought to the hospital with me when I gave birth to my first child 4 years ago - make-up and an open mind.

 Name tag (just in-case I forgot who I was)

I left the first behind because for some reason I thought that make-up  wasn't maternal or necessary when you are basking the glow of new motherhood.  That is probably because my maternal role model, my incredible mum, never wore a scrap of it.  She gave birth to 4 children in an 8 year span, ran our family farm, breastfed effortlessly and parented exceptionally, all without facial enhancements.   I'm sure her reality wasn't as simple or easy as it was in my mind, but she is still worthy of the pedestal I have put her on.

 My little bundle.

But as I left the hospital feeling unbelievably fragile when absolutely everything in my life seemed to have changed overnight, I wish I had put on a little lip gloss or blush as it would have made me feel more like, well...me.   

 Me and my little bundle.

When my second child was born during a cold December I knew I needed a warm robe.  It was my mission and when I found the perfect one, I felt so much more prepared to give birth.  Honestly I think I might have worn it twice, but it more than served it's purpose putting my mind at ease on the eve of her birth.  In addition to my robe I brought with me menus for local restaurants (honestly, there really is no need to eat hospital food), warms socks, the phone numbers of several lactation consultants and a well stocked make-up bag.

 Me and my new bundle and my now big first bundle.

The second I left behind because I never considered that I could have a c-section and certainly never read that chapter in my assorted pregnancy and birthing books.  If I had read about them I would have understood why they are necessary and accepted that as the method of my son's arrival.

Going home to Brooklyn.

 

So in closing I am not necessarily advocating make-up or chapter reading, but I am encouraging that you give yourself what you need to take care of yourself when you meet your baby for the first time.  Bring with you what brings you comfort and makes you feel like you. I lost sight of who I was as I searched for the new mother in me.  When I reclaimed myself, motherhood felt so much more natural. 

Bump Brooklyn

Summer Nursing

Something I hear all the time at Bump is "I would totally wear that if I wasn't pregnant."  It is everything we set out to achieve - clothes to wear while pregnant that don't make you feel like you are giving up your sense of style.

Nursing is a whole other issue.

Dressing for nursing is tough.  Even though you no longer house your baby, you still share your body, and your post pregnancy body adjustment can be fraught.  Even when you tell yourself "Nine months on, nine months off" your once perky C cups are pushing E and leaking.  

We've always worked really hard at finding nursing clothes that were as fashionable and practical as possible but the pickings have been slim - until now.

  Helene Jumpsuit by Dote

I know it's wrong to have favorites, but I do love this piece by Dote and wish we'd had it last summer when I was scrambling to nurse my infant daughter, play with my 3 year old son, stay cool and avoid jeans.  We have a great assortment of nursing pieces from Dote, a wonderful company who doesn't just 'make' nursing clothes, they actually 'design' nursing clothes.  Her designs are always classic, beautifully constructed and flattering to the nursing body.

 Madison Maxi Dress by Miravos

Founded, designed and operated by mother of three, Miravos is another line that has set the bar very high for nursing fashion.  Her designs never scream "I'm nursing, look at my big boobs".  She has created such elegant, understated clothing with invisible nursing access.  Made from dreamy soft bamboo, every piece drapes but doesn't cling.

The Joan by Milk Stars  

Milk Stars is another wonderful nursing line that has kept things simple but certainly not unfashionable.  This particular style has nursing access through the arm hole which is absolutely ingenious.  I just adore the gorgeous emerald green.

So if you find yourself in a fashionable nursing predicament - don't despair, there is hope out there.

Bump Brooklyn